Five months after diagnosis

Here we are, another month down in our long journey with Rhabdomyosarcoma. It hasn't been an easy road, and unfortunately it's just getting harder for the both of us.

Arley's walking is suffering due to the chemotherapy and we are still working on figuring out how to rectify the issue. She goes inpatient on Monday so I'm sure there will be a lot of discussion on it. I still need to make her appointment for next week as well and will try to plan it around her treatment since she will already been in the hospital.

She has slowly started to gain a couple ounces here and there too which is great and she has grown significantly taller too. With that her feet also grew and skipped a whole half size. I bought her brand new size 8.5 sneakers and she never got to wear them, jumped right into a size 9! Everyone thinks shes so much older yet shes barely into 3.

The stress of the whole situation, her being sick and not being able to work is having an effect on me. I literally don't even know what to do anymore as I can't work for at least 9-10 more months. I have to get creative and sell our personal possessions so that we can have extra money. My checking and savings is starting to take a huge hit as the financial burden of the last five months is starting to catch up to me. Medical bills are rolling in and the astronomical amounts are taking a toll.

I am not a person who ever asks for help or asks for handouts. I am too prideful to do it so I'm not sure how long I can keep on that road until it becomes too much for me to handle. People always ask me how to help and I honestly don't know, because I will never ask someone for money or anything because I feel that I would always have that hanging over my head.

Arley did get a really fantastic birthday though, I made sure of it because she deserved it. How I am going to get through the holidays coming up soon I don't even want to think about it. I'm kind of in that bah humbug stage right now and seeing the holiday decorations in stores already is making me sad. I know that my state offers giving trees and such where you can put a childs name out there and someone can adopt and donate whatever the child asks for, but my pride is too high and I feel that it's needed for kids even more less fortunate than us.

Anyway, enough about that. I will figure it out as I always do. My focus now has to be about figuring out how to ensure Arley doesn't stop walking. To ensure that the muscles keep doing their job so that we don't have to take other measures. Everything else will eventually fall into place, I'll make sure of it. 

I have a couple photos to add back under her birthday festivities post since I got the photos back from meeting John Cena, so when you get the chance click back a few posts and you will see them all there. Until next time my friends...