Today Arley had a bone scan. While the scan itself went really well the recovery from being sedated has been less than stellar. She has had numerous meltdowns and has constantly been screaming and crying. She doesn't want you to talk to her, look at her, offer her anything to eat or drink and has been a completely different child.
Can I blame her? No. She's been going through a series of tests, pokes, prods etc for five days now. I feel really bad for her because let's face it, she's 2.5 and while she has really good communication skills, she still can't articulate all of her feelings and needs to us especially when she herself is going through constant emotions and states of being awake and asleep.
While she was getting the scan done I was able to leave the hospital for an hour and a half. I had promised Arley that I would get her an extra special surprise for being such a brave girl this past (almost) week. I went to the mall that is down the street from my house and picked her up some Tinkerbell fairy wings to go with her Rapunzel dress up accessory set that her auntie Cassy bought for her from JCPenney. Then I went to Claires and bought her a Princess Sofia necklace and some play jewelry as well for like 2 bucks because they were having a 10 for $10 sale on their clearance items.
Then from there I headed home to pick up some necessities and Target to pick up necessities I was out of. It felt good to get out for a bit but sucked that it's been raining hardcore all day. I also couldn't really enjoy the freedom of being outside because my mind was always on Arley and how she was doing throughout the whole procedure.
Today has honestly been a nightmare with her emotions being so out of control that I'm beginning to lose a bit of patience especially when once I finally calm her down a million people decide its time to come in and bug her. I understand that vitals need to be done, medicine needs to be changed, fevers need monitoring etc, but my poor child has not even had five minutes alone to breathe and process all that is happening to her which then in turn makes me frustrated because I am left to deal with the consequence of messing with her.
I feel as though I am at battle with doing what I know is right medically versus doing what is right as a mother. I would never deny Arley the treatment that she needs, but I feel as though they need to either do everything that they CAN do at once to do it grouped together or learn how to space things out enough so that she has enough time to relax before the next big thing.
Honestly all the previous days leading up to today have seemed like a cake walk because her moods have been pretty mellow with only a slight occasional hiccup verses prime meltdown mode. My daughter never has meltdowns. Yes she is a toddler and sometimes cries and has a fit which is all completely normal but she has NEVER had a meltdown... until today. It's as though today she finally opened up and unleashed all her emotions that she has felt for days. Guess she had the meltdown that I wish I could.
Hopefully though she gets some good solid sleep tonight because around 10 in the morning we are going to the OR for her bone marrow and to receive her port. Also here's hoping that recovery goes much smoother tomorrow than it did today. Especially since she will be totally under. Thanks everyone for the continued love and support. I'll be seeing you all tomorrow.
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