Mothers Day

I was looking forward to today with my daughter. I had planned a surprise trip into Massachusetts especially for her. The weather was going to be really nice today, and we even had similar matching dresses to wear for the occasion. If you knew me, you would know I only wear dresses for events that require it, but I figured since my daughter loves to dress like Rella (Cinderella) often, why not do something special just for her on Mother's Day.

We woke up really early, got dressed, packed her backpack with some snacks and drinks for a little picnic and then headed out the door to begin our hour long drive over the state line.

Things were going really well, she was singing along to the music and just relaxing. As soon as we arrived though, as I literally put the car into park she coughed and threw up everywhere.

I'm not sure what made her do it. If she may now suffer from car or motion sickness as a result from the chemo or if it was just something that transpired randomly. She didn't have anything to eat or drink in the car so I know it wasn't brought on because of that.

I took her out of the car and cleaned her up real good and asked her if she still wanted to go see the butterflies. She said yes, so I took her hand and led her inside. Once inside she told me she wanted to go bye bye. I asked if she was sure and she said yes. Once outside she said she wanted the butterflies. This back and forth went on for a couple minutes but then she told me several times she wanted to go home and go bye bye so we did.

To say I didn't cry for a good 15 minutes on the way home would be a lie. I was completely heartbroken. Seems like every time I try to plan something on the holidays it goes wrong without fail. 

I know this isn't Arley's fault by any means, but it still doesn't stop the twinge of hurt and guilt I feel. It makes me wonder if we are even going to have as much fun this summer as I hoped. Last year she was sick the entire summer because of a nasty virus, this year she will be going through her treatments. 

Anyway, the rest of our day was pretty uneventful. We took a nap together and are currently on our third movie (Monsters U). Tomorrow I go back to school and begin finals week. I am so unprepared, but will try my hardest to at least finish, all I can hope for at this point.

Here's hoping that everyone else had a much better Mother's Day than I did. Until next time xoxo