Under the weather

Today Arley has been under the weather. She's been gagging all day and I'm just waiting for her to throw up.

She's not eating or drink in and what little she tried to have a little bit ago (drink) she spit back up.

I know it's only been one day home from the hospital and then pushed tons of fluids onto her that may be the reason why she's just not interested today but I hope she eat or drinks something soon. If she doesn't, immediate hospital visit and they will probably put a G-tube into her.

I really don't want that to happen, but I realize it's a possibility and will do whatever to keep my daughter alive and healthy. 

I'm trying to take everyday just one day at a time but I'd be lying if I said everything was all rainbows and butterflies. I'm upset and rightfully so. Don't understand why this happened to my baby or even where the hell it came from. There's still so many unanswered questions and the unknown is what's so difficult. 

Also this week coming up is my finals for school. I have missed so much that I don't even know what's on my finals. I worked so hard this semester to get straight A's that I'll be lucky if I pass everything now with a C. This too upsets me because I worked my ass off and now I'm being slightly derailed because of my daughters Cancer. Rabdomyosarcoma to be exact. I'd like to put two middle fingers up and say "screw you and the damn horse you rode in on." 

We were doing just fine without you so anytime you want to be on your merry little way would be fine with us.

Anyways, Mothers Day is a couple days away and I want to do something absolutely special for my little lady. It's supposed to be in the low 80s and sunny. Considering a picnic at the daffodil park but am open to any suggestions? Hope you all are well, talk soon xoxo